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Pursuit of Happiness

(Step - 1 of 3)

- by Wipassi

Happiness:

    Let me start by asking you a question. Do you think Happiness is internal or external? Have you ever felt that you have everything that makes you happy (at least what society considers) but still you feel unhappy inside? There were times I was searching for happiness outside, because this is what I've learned and seen from society, I was so utterly wrong. I had everything that I thought was needed to be happy, yet I was so far away from real happiness.

 

Or are you chasing something ? In the society we live in: we may consider material success to be happy, we may consider being with someone to be happy, or  being in place of power and control to be happy. All these glams and glitters are so ephemeral (impermanent) once they are gone and which are bound to go away, our pain of suffering will be immeasurable. So where is happiness here?

 

How can we be happy inside, if our source of happiness is outside? So to be truly happy we have to learn to see inside and find the source within us not without. Sooner this illusion to perceive outer glitters as happiness goes away, sooner we will find the peace and harmony that we all seek within.

 

What is True  Happiness?

 

Our lives revolve around the “push and pull” forces, things we want we want to pull and things we dislike we want to push. We may just want favorable things to happen to us, but life has different plans. We encounter both favorable things which we like to pull and unfavorable things we like to push away. Being ignorant of this “push-pull” within us is making us unhappy inside.

 

Being happy is being content with what we have at the moment. It’s giving your best without expecting anything in return. For example you just took your test: are you worrying about the  result? You see, you don’t have any control over the future which hasn’t happened yet, so why worry about the future and ruin the present? The result will definitely reflect what you have done in the test. If you planted a good seed in the PAST (studied well or the test was good), the fruit of it (future) will be good. If you dwell in the past and worry about your past, of which you can’t do anything as it has passed already you may add that into your sadness. If you worry about the future which hasn’t happened yet, you'll add to our anxiety. So the right balance is to be happy and content with what you have in the present.

 

You may ask, what about self improvement and having an ambition? True: we should strive to improve ourselves, have an ambition yet if you get too attached to the END RESULT only your mind will be disturbed and agitated. One thing I know for sure is, an agitated mind is incable in making good decisions.

 

Once you realize the power of CALM and HARMONIOUS mind then you’ll know TRUE HAPPINESS!

 

Why True Happiness?

 

The world we live in is filled with chaos, negativity and agitation. It’s very easy to get affected by these and make our lives miserable. It’s easy to roll into this agitation and run around and around into this chaos, and most of us don’t even know if there is a way out of this agitation. It’s easy because it’s easy to take the easy way out, it takes lots of courage, effort and energy to take the high road. Just like flowing downstream is easy, flowing upstream is the real challenge, this is where it requires your effort and energy.

 

The source of your true happiness is such refuge that you can tap into anytime and feel peace and harmony no matter what externalities bring outside. You’ll be grounded, you’ll have strength, you’ll believe in yourself. After all you are the master of your own ship and you are the own who determines the course to your destination.

 

True Benefit: One important point to look at here is, once there is less agitation in your mind, you’ll have immense clarity in your day to day life. With this clarity you can make better decisions and choices. After all, life is all about better choices we make. So this is the power of a calm and harmonious mind, to be able to make BETTER CHOICES in life, and in the end this is the SOURCE of your REAL HAPPINESS!

 

Pursuit of Happiness (1 of 3)

 

Now let me tell you how you can achieve this happiness, in a simple and easy way. Part 1: 5 steps to everlasting happiness will be part 1 of 3 in this journey of achieving true happiness. (Part 2: Having Mastery over your Mind and Part 3: Purification of your mind from defilements).  As you can see this is a journey, a marathon race not a sprint, for me this has been a long happy journey for life, it’s an “art of living.” It’ll take time and effort for you to perfect it, you’ll make mistakes, you’ll fail and you’ll stumble. Yet, you’ll rise again, you’ll have patience,  you’ll persevere, you’ll keep your determination and in the end it’s worth the effort, I can  tell you this from my own experience.

 

5 Steps to everlasting Happiness 

 

1. Be Kind and Compassionate

 

Be kind and compassionate to yourself first, the first person who needs your kindness is you yourself. We tend to be hard on ourselves, sometimes we have so much negative talk about ourselves, we doubt ourselves, devalue ourselves. So be kind to yourself.

 

Realize that life, liberty and safety is dear for every being. If it’s dear to you it’ll be dear to others too. Generate kindness and compassion for those who are less fortunate than you (than indifference and contempt) and generate sympathetic joy for those who are more fortunate than you (than envy and jealousy).

 

2. Be Generous

 

In order to live in a harmonious society we need to learn how to share what we have too. In my experience the happiness of giving is immeasurable. Let others be part of your success and happiness too. Be generous with your emotions, with your time, with your energy, your kindness, your affection and your money too.

 

3. Be Faithful and Loyal

 

The feeling of betrayal is one of the worst feelings, especially in a relationship. You set an example, so people can really and trust you, not for the sake of others but for the sake of yourself, for your own peace and happiness. Disloyal people are mostly agitated and unhappy in life. Be aware of your actions and remember the consequences of poor choices. 

 

With my own experience I can say the strength of familiarity, stability and security far outways the feeling of novelty of a new relationship.

 

4. Be Honest and Reliable

 

If you lie once, you may have to lie 1000 times more to cover the initial lie. Lying causes  too much agitation and disturbance in the mind too. Let people trust you, so you can trust them. Once this wonderful relationship of trust has been established you’ll grow immensely emotionally as well as be strong emotionally too. 

 

With your integrity, people will believe in you, they’ll look forward to your opinion and  suggestions, you’ll feel purposeful, understood and appreciated. In the long run this will boost your self esteem and confidence and makes you happy.

 

Be honest and trustful, cause it’s the best and easiest for you to be happy!

 

5. Be Aware of yourself and  avoid intoxicant

 

Intoxicants will cloud your judgment, may it be alcohol or drugs! Intoxicants can be of power, control, money or lust too. Anything that CONTROLs YOUR MIND should be avoided. When you are intoxicated, the intoxicants control you and your decision making will go haywire!!

 

Story:

There is a story from my part of the world. A young Monk was traveling alone and hungry in high himalayas. As the night was approaching he approached the first house he saw to request for food and shelter. There lived a young woman alone who welcomed him warmly. She asked him if he was hungry and tired, to which he replied affirmatively.

 

She said, “Sir, you seem very tired and cold, my husband has gone far away so please come inside and sleep in my bed comfortably tonight!” (she had ill-intention) [#3]

 

Monk was a little irritated, and reminded her that he is a celibate monk and won’t be sleeping inside but will stay outside the house. (be faithful and loyal)

 

She then mentioned, “Sir, I don’t have any food at home, the only thing I have is the big Yak in the barn. Since the Yak is big I can't kill it, please kill it and I’ll make you curry from the meat.” [#1]

The young monk grew a little angry, toward the woman and told her “I’m a monk, we can’t kill anything!” (be kind and compassionate)

 

“Oh”  she said “In that case, my neighbor has a baby Yak, sneak there and steal it and bring it here. I’ll kill it and make you dinner.” [#2]

 

The young monk grew more angry and told her “I’m a monk lady, and we can’t steal!” (be generous)

 

Then she said “In that case, just go there and ask them you are going to take a baby yak for a walk and bring it here. I’ll kill it and make you dinner.” [#4]

 

Monk was furious now and told her “I’m a monk woman, and we can’t lie” (be honest and reliable)

The lady goes, “Sir, I care for you and I feel really bad that I can’t do anything to help you! The only thing that I can think of giving you is the Tongba (homemade warm Beer), it’s cold outside and it’ll make you warm too!, just have one glass!” [#5]

 

So the Monk thought, oh yes it’s cold outside, maybe I’ll just have a glass, which will make me warm.

 

One glass became two, and then three ... .after which the Monk went to the neighbor’s house, stole the baby yak, killed it, and slept inside the home with the woman.

 

Moral of the story is, intoxicants will cloud your mind and judgment. Be Careful! 

 

For me, being able to have peace and harmony within, having love and compassion for others, to smile and have balance of mind even at times of difficulties is true happiness. 

 

May you all be peaceful, happy and free!